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animalstalkinginallcaps:

LOOK, JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND. COME OR DON’T, BUT THE PORTAL ONLY STAYS OPEN FOR LIKE … FIVE MINUTES AT A TIME.

AND HEY, I’M SORRY IF THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA MISLED YOU INTO THINKING FAERIES WERE DIMINUTIVE, BLUSHING TEENAGE GIRLS WITH WINGS, BUT THEY GET ALL SORTS OF SHIT WRONG. W.M.D.S IN IRAQ? DON’T THINK SO. M.S.G. CAUSES “CHINESE RESTAURANT SYNDROME”? SORRY, SCIENCE SAYS NO. 

AND NOW HERE WE ARE, JUST YOU AND A LIVING, BREATHING EXTRADIMENSIONAL CREATURE OFFERING YOU THE CHANCE TO LEAVE THIS MUNDANE PLANE OF EXISTENCE AND EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN, AND YOU’RE HESITATING BECAUSE I DON’T FIT YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF “BEAUTY” AS DEFINED BY GLOSSY MAGAZINE ADVERTS OR TRUE BLOOD OR WHATEVER.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT. I’M OUT OF HERE.

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